I know the things I'm good at, and the things I have no talent for.  But I still wish to do those things. It's so strange. Why am I wasting time and effort when I know it doesn't suit me?

Travel and Semi-complaint

I wrote this post some time ago during a sleepless night so... please ignore (or relish or be amused at) my grouchiness.

[beginning]
I may have a sadistic personality, but this schedule is just masochistic. Jet-lag is not fun at all. I also kinda brought this upon myself so...

22nd 2300 take off to London
23rd 0545 land in London, immediately rent car for 2 hr drive to Warwick university, arrive on campus before 11:30. Stay until 5pm. 2 hr drive back to London.
24th Morning sleep in. KCL 1:30pm-5pm.
25th NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM :D
26th Free time. 2220 London to HK
27th 0700 Land in HK. 1000 meet up at Ocean Park. Go home with friends after (sleepover). Unpack etc.
28th 0910 Elements. 1600 Interview at Mother's Choice. 1900 Dinner with Jo. Pack.
29th 1025 Elements. 1510 Hangout? 2355 Board plane to London.
30th UCL

And that's the end of a hectic week.

[end of post]

London Natural History Museum

I found some notes and preliminary research from my trip to the NHS and just wanted to put them somewhere. I guess you'll be able to see what interests me most in terms of natural history, or something like that.

Illustrations of the Natural World

• scientific illustration. identify, classifying comparing.
• linnaen style = ecological style: nature as seen/experienced. 
• bewick, naturalist, used wood block printing. Reason = detail, scale.
• Methods: electron microscope, micro CT scan, photograph, digital images, illustrations
• inaccuracy of paintings may mislead for long time. Even when corrected, the original is popular eg. dodo, the original showed a big fat bird when in reality it's not that big, but the fat version is more popular and used.

Peacock Ore

Geology

• Bornite = peacock ore, sulfide mineral
• Malachite = copper ore

Mammals

• fossils used to find relatives. palaeontology
• family names
• boars both genders hv tusks
• -dactyl: digits (fingers and toes)
• tylopods, cushioned foot 
• hyrax, not rodent 
• perissodactyl: odd hoofed, one main weightbearing hoof
• artiodactyls: weight equally shared on 2 hooves

Darwin Centre - mostly about the museum collections and curators/scientists

• Edentates: Mammal lacking incisors/canine teeth eg. anteaters, armadillos
• Organism must be named. This is vital. Otherwise info is useless.
• Curators look after collections, and make them available for the scientific community
• Extinct species are sometimes found in collections
• NHS has a massive collection, millions of hours spent on it, 3km of cabinets
• Science is discovering natural world. Ask questions, gather data to learn about world
• Past famous collectors: Sloane, Cheesman, Banks, Darwin, Wallace

I need someone to point out my flaws.

After reading that previous post, I realised it won't be good if someone found this and managed to trace it back to me. But it's my true opinion. My side of the story. I wanted to keep record of it, share it even. In the end, it's an important life experience.

I look forward to Year 12. I have a lot of ideas, a lot of activities and school events I want to participate in. I want to bring change in the school. I don't know what yet, but I want to leave an impact, or at least affect those around me. Did I mention that I'll be a Y8 camp prefect next year? I'm really looking forward to it. I'm kinda clumsy, have bad hearing and not enough confidence with adults, but I'm sure that I'll be fine. Hope the kids won't mind me or trample all over me :P

If you've read this post, please leave a comment below! It's nice when you can see that someone is reading these things after all.

Understandable Bullshit.

sooo.....

My school has this thing called E-class where students get to choose a course they like and attend it for a semester (half a year). This takes up 6 lessons a week (2 different A-classes). Y11s have exams. We are free from all other classes but A-classes, and are expected to attend them. No exceptions unless you have an exam during them. We were warned that if we don't attend them, our transcript would write our courses as "incomplete". We were allowed 3 lessons (not days!) of absence, including exams (which is bs and wasn't explained to us in writing, it was only when I asked later that she clarified it). Here's the problem.

I'm going to University open days which take place before the school term ends. It's one year earlier but that's because I'll be busy during summer next year. At the beginning of the course, I told my teachers I'll be leaving early. I decided to register it as "early leave". I asked my mum to hand write a letter. Told my Senior Head of House (he said he'll talk to Ms C). I went into Ms C's office and told her my reason of early leave. She didn't accept it. She said that University tours can be booked any time, and is not a valid reason for leaving school early, and so, my transcript would be marked as "incomplete". I felt frustrated. I loved those two courses. I don't want them to be the ones that are "incomplete". I also put a lot of effort into them, even during exam time. I felt like all that effort was wasted. I could have just not gone to any of my lessons and studied/played instead. Through those thoughts, the pipes leaked (for which I'm sorta glad, cos if they didn't, she could have treated me a little harsher, she's kinda terrifying after all, for both students and teachers, but she's pretty amazing at times... in her stubbornness and efficiency).

It's not Ms C's fault really. If she does that for me, she'll have to do it for everyone. It had to be black and white. I understand that. A part of me is saying "A-class doesn't matter, no one would actually look at that thing anyway, they don't even know what A-class is! only our school has it!", which I believe is what a large part of the year is saying. It's also partially my fault, I didn't explain it properly to my parents, I just assumed that having guardian's permission and reason was enough. Oh yea, my parents are also kinda mad at me for it, rightfully so, but nothing we can do about it, everything's already organised and Ms C is like a rock.

Or I can take the next course of action. Through force. I'd hate to do this, but getting my parents there is an option. Then I can also get my teachers to vouch for my hard work, and my SHOH to vouch for my personality or something, and try to move her through numbers. But if it doesn't work out in the end... it's not worth it. It'll leave a lasting impression, which I don't want. I'll just once again, look down on A-class. Pretend that I don't care about it. Be like all the others who say it's shit and a waste of time, even though I kept defending it, even saying that the exhibition (which took place before our exams) had a point and was worth it.

Oh well, let's just treat this as a lesson, to not look at things optimistically and always make sure of the rules. If you don't know the rules, you can't play. The world isn't always fair to the passionate.

Other news, I think Ms C is retiring next year and the principal for next year was in the room when I was talking with Ms C, so I might have left an impression on him/her (positive hopefully, though not necessarily in the correct way).

It's such a shame.

Chocolate Research

Originally for an article, but I changed the topic, so here it is.

• Chemical (ingredients)
• ingredients
• History
• How chocolate is made
• Health benefits
• Dark chocolate
• What makes ppl addicted to chocolate?
• Favourite kinds of chocolate

http://www.scienceofcooking.com/chocolate/science-of-chocolate.htm

http://www.explainthatstuff.com/scienceofchocolate.html

https://www.nbclearn.com/portal/site/learn/freeresources/chemistry-now/chemistry-of-chocolate

Chocolate. Favourite sweet of all time [cite source]. I love chocolate, and would eat it all the time if I could. So what exactly draws people to chocolate, to the point of making them “addicted”? I’ve loved this sweet since I was 4 when I first tasted it, I’ve eaten so much to the point that I’ve been banned from it on more than one occasion? What is the reason my parents banned me from eating it and my love for it? Here are some excuses for chocolate lovers to combat this ban/reasons to continue eating chocolate.

Chocolate is a solid mass of sugar, fat, milk solid and cacao. It’s sometimes difficult to discern exactly what draws people back to it over and over again.

1. Chocolate contains
2. 
   

Chocolate Making Process

1. Harvest: Cut and crack open pods for beans
2. Ferment: Let micro-organisms and heat kill bean and develop flavor
3. Dry and Ship: Sun dry beans to preserve them for travel to chocolate-making factories
4. Clean: Remove dirt, sand, and debris
5. Winnow: Remove bean shell from cotyledon (nib), saving the flavorful nib
6. Roast: Heat the nib to develop its flavor
7. Grind and Mill: Release cocoa butter fat and generate coarse particles of cacao from the nib
8. Mix: Combine cacao, cocoa butter, milk, sugar, and flavors
9. Conch: Slowly mix ingredients under heat while continuously grinding to make a smooth texture
10. Temper: Crystallize the cocoa butter to form a solid that is easy to snap and melts in the mouth
11. Form: Pour and cast chocolates

Chemical

http://www.scienceofcooking.com/chocolate/drugs-found-in-chocolate.htm

http://www.scienceofcooking.com/chocolate/health-benefits-of-chocolate.htm

Biodiversity Research

also stuff for individual research paper. I tried to get a head start, turns out it was futile, and I just did more than I needed to.

https://wwf.panda.org/about_our_earth/biodiversity/biodiversity_and_you/ just use WWF

• Biological diversity is resource upon which families, communities, nations and future generations depend
• link between all organisms on earth, binding each into an interdependent ecosystem, all species have their role
• It is the web of life.
• if there is a biodiversity crisis, our health and livelihoods are at risk too.
• currently  using 25% more natural resources than planet can sustain → species, habitats and local communities under pressure or direct threats
• Biodiversity underpins the health of the planet and has a direct impact on all our lives.
• reduced biodiversity → millions of people face a future where food supplies more vulnerable to pests and disease, fresh water irregular/short supply
• Ecosystem services = all services we get from natural world we often take for granted (eg. H2O, soil formation/protection, pollution breakdown/absorption, climate stability and recovery from natural disasters)
• According to IUCN, the World Conservation Union, monetary value of goods/services provided by ecosystems estimated to amount to US$33 trillion / yr
• We harvest estimated 50,000-70,000 plant species for medicine worldwide.

• 100 million+ metric tonnes of aquatic life (fish, molluscs, crustaceans) taken from the wild every year
• wild animal meat form critical contribution to food sources + livelihoods in many

https://wwf.panda.org/what_we_do/how_we_work/protected_areas/arguments_for_protection/goods_services/

http://allyandkexin.weebly.com/biodiversity-and-ecosystem-loss.html

Biodiversity is the variety of different types of life found on earth. It is a measure of the variety of organisms present in different ecosystems. This can refer to genetic variation, ecosystem variation, or species variation (number of species) within an area, biome, or planet.

http://www.globalissues.org/issue/169/biodiversity

http://www.globalissues.org/article/171/loss-of-biodiversity-and-extinctions

http://www.cie.org.uk/images/260864-resource-list-for-cambridge-igcse-global-perspectives-2017-.pdf

http://www.peopleandtheplanet.com/

http://www.trees.co.za/ natural history museum

http://157.140.2.10/discover.html

http://www.kew.org/science-conservation/plants-fungi/useful botanic gardens

https://www.foe.co.uk/ friends of the earth

https://www.soilassociation.org/ soil association

Definition of Biodiversity

Biological diversity, or biodiversity for short, is

From ppt. ppt

Ecosystem: A biological community of interacting organisms and their physical environment.

What is Biodiversity: The variety of plant and animal life in the world or in a particular habitat, a high level of which is usually considered to be important and desirable.

Q: Why is it important to preserve ecosystems

A: Conserving ecosystems guarantees the very existence of every animal and plant species on Earth. The natural world consists of various complex interactions between different ecosystems. Organisms influence one another and exist in an ecosystem created by nature’s balance.

https://www.afcd.gov.hk/english/conservation/con_end/con_end_reg/con_end_reg_ord/con_end_reg_ord.html

https://www.environment.gov.au/biodiversity/conservation/hotspots

http://www.conservation.org/nature-is-speaking/Pages/default.aspx

http://www.cfare.org/UserFiles/file/publications/2007ABCNature.pdf

Extra paragraph

For Global Perspectives Research Essay. Topic: non-native species. I wrote an extra introductory paragraph, felt like it's a shame to just delete, so I dumped it here.

China is the 3rd largest country on earth covering 5 different climatic zones.

China is suffering from at least 283 invasive species, 50 of which are in the top 100 of the world’s worst invasive species (specified by the IUCN). The rate/speed of species invasion has risen exponentially due to rapid development of transport technology, spreading them to various regions in the country. Foreign invasive species may have also came from overseas from tourists and before the 2008 Olympics, as the government has imported various foreign plants. While these plants may not be harmful themselves, they may have carried unwanted pests. The following graph shows the number of invasive species discovered every 20 years with an average yearly growth rate of 11.47%. Majority of non-native species were introduced when they are productive and beneficial to the economy. However, the country sustains a loss of 120 billion yuan (US$29.3 billion) every year from damage caused by invasive species. It is believed that quarantine and inspection are inadequate, allowing the spreading of unwanted organisms/invasive species.

Kite Runner Sanaubar

I'm doing this empathic piece on Sanaubar, and no one else in my year has done her. So... to maybe help those who may have the same problem (probably not), here is the evidence I took from the books. Should be all of it, but yea. In any case, do your own work. I'm putting this here cos I did quite some work on mine.

Title: I am Sanaubar when Sohrab was just born.

[past] ran off with a clan of traveling singers and dancers. Had sex with a soldier at the barracks. Beautiful but notoriously unscrupulous woman who lived up to her dishonourable reputation. Brilliant green eyes, impish face tempted countless men into sin. Suggestive stride and oscillating hips sent men to reveries of infidelity.

No one surprised she eloped. 19 years younger than ali.

Joined neighborhood kids in taunting Ali. made no secret of her disdain for his appearance. “This is a husband?” she would sneer. “I have seen old donkeys better suited to be a husband”

Ali married her to help restore some honour to his uncle’s blemished name.

Gave birth to Hassan. Simple, no obstetricians, no anesthesiologists, no fancy monitoring devices. Lying on stained, naked mattress with Ali and a midwife. Didn’t need much help. Hassan came out smiling.

Took one glance at hassan in ali’s arms, saw cleft lip, barked bitter laughter. “Now you have your own idiot child to do all your smiling for you!”. Refused to even hold him. 5 days later was gone.

She knows? That she’s not his first wife, ali married to another for 3 years, no children. 1st wife remarried, bore him 3 children = ali sterile. Did sanaubar know this?

[past] toothless woman with stringy graying hair and sores on her arms. Looked like she had not eaten for days. Someone had taken a knife to her face, slashes cut this way and that way. One of the cuts went from cheekbone to hairline and it had not spared her left eye on the way. It was grotesque.

[past] “You smiled coming out of me, did anyone ever tell you? And I wouldn’t even hold you. Allah forgive me, I wouldn’t even hold you”

[past] Hassan and his mother kneeling together, picking tomatoes or trimming a rosebush, talking. They were catching up on all the lost years, I suppose. As far as I [rahim khan] know, he never asked where she had been or why she had left and she never told. I guess some stories do not need telling.

[at that moment] Came out of hut holding him wrapped in wool blanket. Beaming under dull grey sky, tears streaming down her cheeks, needle-cold wind blowing her hair, and clutching that baby in her arms like she never wanted to let go. Not this time.

[things she will do] Sewed clothes, built him toys, cared for him when he had a fever.

[death] she lived to see him turn four, and then, one morning, she just did not wake up. She looked calm , at peace, like she did not mind dying now.

Alias

In most if not all of my accounts, my name is _____. Anyway, I just shortened it to agm235 and thought it looked pretty cool and wanted to share. It's a lot shorter than my old name. Not that I'm going to change it all cos that's just a bother.

Really should sleep

I've always known about this 'raising awareness for the ocean' contest from an organisation called 'From the Bowseat'. It wasn't until an hour ago that I thought about doing this for real. Here are some stuff that I conjured from the back of my mind:

Poem/prose written in mystery format. Who is the killer of the fish/plankton etc.?

They're silent, invisible. All you can feel is their presence creeping up on you. You feel it, yet you can't defend yourself.

They entwine themselves through your senses, (causing/hindering) you blind/throwing you into pitch black, (dulling/withholding) your touch/covering you with a slick blanket, clogging up your sense of smell with a stench/scent of their own.

You can't break free.

Others later ask,
Who is the killer?
Who is the murderer?
What do they mean they don't know?
That they didn't mean for it to happen?
But didn't it just happen?
Are they powerful enough to take it back?
Will they take it back if they can?
Will you tell me?
Please tell me.


Acid rain, story of a water molecule
eg. I found a new friend, though they're rather insufferable. its name is Nitrion. What a funny name, but I guess I can say the same for myself. My full name is Hydrogen Dioxide, but most just call me water. For what reason, I do not know. I like to travel and I've been to places you've never known of. And I've met various travelling companions. I have to say that Nitrion is not a pleasant character. They sniff, and eat. Oh their insatiable appetite, their gluttony. I ask "Why are you like this?"
They answered, "Because my Parents are the same".


Change theme of the skirt I'm making to something ocean related. Something to do with plastic again? too common.
Maybe something to do with covering


[this is also to place it in another location, just in case I lose it from my wunderlist]

Old School Video

And I'm back to procrastinating. Oh well, I found something interesting. Made this in 2014. 18 seconds long. I guess it's alright...

Physical Pain

The entire right side of my body hurts. My right thigh has always hurt. But now it's worse. I blame my last ballet lesson. And that 2 hour badminton session. And that time sitting down for 2 hours for Captain America Civil War (it was good btw). And that running around/football/tennis ball/wallet/phone/keys/wild-goose-chase session (don't ask). And that other 1 hour badminton session.

Right now, my right shoulder hurts, so does my wrist (probably because I'm typing). My shin muscles/tendons (whatever they're called) are so tight (contracted?) that it hurts. The right side of my neck hurts. Not to mention my thigh, tailbone and butt bone (pretty sure it's not called that, but it's the bone that holds your weight when you're sitting down, think of bicycle seats).

I blame my bad posture (and partially the weather). Sit up straight people. It's worth it. It's harder for me to do my sports now.

Wind Band

My school's wind band really need more people. Last week, we only had 3 people come. 2 flutes (including me) and an oboe. I really want this to work. I skipped wind band for the past 2 terms because of badminton and the school production and I want to join it this term. And our music teacher's leaving.